


In an Extremely Uncomfortable Place

by ewinfic



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Car Sex, Dialogue-Only, Humor, M/M, One Shot, Random & Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-06-06 18:48:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6765613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ewinfic/pseuds/ewinfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written on a dare from my best friend after watching Civil War.  The prompt he gave me was "Cap and Bucky in the back of a Volkswagon".</p>
            </blockquote>





	In an Extremely Uncomfortable Place

"Ow."

"Sorry."

_"Ow!"_

"Sorry!"

"Bucky, maybe you should use your other hand to do that..."

"I can't, my elbow is caught behind the seat."

"Well, here, let's adjust..."

"Okay, okay, wait. No, wait... okay. If you put your leg here..."

"... then I'll be doing a split."

"Well, it would make things easier."

"Stop grinning."

"It bothers you? I mean, I haven't smiled in a long time."

"Ah... damn. I'm sorry, Buck. Smile all you want."

" _This_ makes me smile."

"Ahhh... yeah, that's... that's a lot better with your right hand..."

"What about this?"

"Holy... where did you learn to do that?"

"Detailed anatomy is a basic part of assassin training."

"Could you... oh. Apparently you can."

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this..."

"Buck... wait, _ow_!"

"Sorry, lost my balance, it's hard when I'm doing this with both hands..."

"And trust me, I want you to keep doing it. Hold on, let me just... okay, there we go. Ahhhhh."

"Make that sound again."

"Make me. Oh, oh okay... ohhhhh."

"AGH!"

"What?"

"Leg cramp! Leg cramp! Gotta move!"

"No, wait, don't do that--"

" _Killing me, ow..._ "

"Aaaaaa! No!"

"Stoppit!"

"Okay Buck, here. Let me just... does that help?"

"Um..."

"Should I stop?"

"No. No, don't stop."

"Say please."

"Please don't stop."

"Whisper it in my ear."

" _Steve... please. Please don't stop._ "

"... okay, that worked..."

"Now just put your leg up like this..."

"My leg doesn't do that unfortunately."

"Shit. Whose grand idea was this?"

"I forget, but whoever agreed to it was equally stupid."

"Fine. Blast it all, we're going to do it like this. Steve, just... yeah, like that."

"Oh. Oh okay, that..."

"Feels good?"

"Yes... _yes_... that's perfect... wow, we're fogging up the windows..."

"Kiss me."

"Bucky..."

"Yeah, just like that."

"I... I'm going to..."

"It's been a long time, hasn't it? Jesus, you're so..."

"Ah..."

"Just a little bit more. A little bit more..."

"Don't stop, don't stop..."

"Can you wait for me?"

"I... I'm not sure I can..."

"Just a little bit more... oh God, a little more..."

"... Bucky?"

"Yes?"

"My legs just went to sleep."

"I didn't even know that was possible for you."

"It takes a lot to do it, but this position is enough."

"Need me to move?"

"... let's finish this first."

"I better hurry then."

"No, don't hurry... don't hurry... you're gonna... I... Buck..."

"Now."

"Wait..."

"No wait. Now."

"... Oh God... _Ahhhh_!"

"Theeeeere we go... a little bit more... a little bit more... good."

"That was..."

"Yes it was."

"But what about you?"

"Watch me."

"I want to help."

"Then talk to me and keep looking at me with your eyes all sleepy like that."

"Bucky... what should I say?"

"Heh. You were always so shy about talking dirty."

"But not about this."

"No, that you were always... ahh... very talented at... Steve... oh, Steve, that... that's really good..."

"Come for me."

"... but..."

"I don't care, I can always wash afterward."

"We're in a parking garage, Steve."

"Then I'll just have to be sticky for a while. I don't mind. I'll smell like you."

"Christ... yes..."

"Come on."

"Are you... yeah... ohh... I can't... I can't... please..."

"Shhhhh, I've got you."

"... oh yeah. Yeah. Yes. There. Yes. Steve. Steve. _Steve_!"

"Ahhhhh."

"Jesus, just look at you."

"Am I a mess?"

"No. I can't even describe what you are. You're incredible."

"I don't think we can bask for too long, though, because my legs are going to fall off."

"That sucks, because I don't think I can move."

"Bucky."

"I know. My hips are in a position no man is ever supposed to be in. I still can't move."

"What if you..."

" _Ow_!"

"Okay, that didn't work."

"Let me try this way. Wait... ow... you're on my hair. Okay."

"Hold on, what's this?"

"What... are you _kidding_ me?"

"Oh God. I feel like an idiot now."

"Was that lever there _the whole time_?"

"I can move now."

"So can I, that gave us an extra two feet of room! That we could have had the whole time!"

"Buck, calm down."

"This is _not_ funny, Steve."

"It's a _little_ funny."

"Ow. Okay, I'm off you now. How are your legs?"

"I'll let you know when I can feel them again. How's your arm?"

"Fine."

"And your hair?"

"Shut up."

"Aw, look who's grumpy now."

"Hush."

"Come here."

"But I just... we just... Steve... are you sure you... okay, fine, okay, here."

"Mmmmm."

"We are going to have to get out of here eventually."

"Eventually."

"That does feel good, though. Do you think Sam will be able to tell what we did in here?"

"Hopefully not... probably best if we seat him shotgun."

"Dammit!"

"Sorry."

"Fine, I'll sit in the back. If I get carsick, I'm gonna puke all over you."

"If you pee on me you'll hit the trifecta of bodily fluids in a single day. I think that's a record for us."

"I'm not going to pee on you, Steve."

"I was hoping you wouldn't."

"Okay, come on. Out we get."

"We are never doing this again. Agreed?"

"At least not until tomorrow."

"... yeah."


End file.
